Main Themes:

• Mutual Submission: The central argument is that the biblical concept of marriage, as presented in Ephesians 5, isn’t about the one-sided submission of wives to husbands, but rather about mutual submission between husband and wife, rooted in reverence for Christ. The speaker directly challenges the interpretation of the passage as being chauvinistic.
• “Paul isn’t a chauvinist. He isn’t a chauvinist. He’s a submissionist. He’s saying, husbands and wives are to submit to one another.”
• “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. And then he goes to the women. Because I think in his day and age, people would have expected him to tell the women how to submit. And all the men would have been like, oh, yeah, that’s right. You know, submit to me like you do to Jesus. And then he turns on the men.”
• Reinterpreting “Submission” and “Respect”: The sermon directly tackles the difficult passages in Ephesians 5 regarding wives submitting to their husbands (“as you do to the Lord”) and respecting their husbands (using the Greek word also used for fearing God). It acknowledges the potential for discomfort and misinterpretation.
• “When Paul says to respect your husband, this is the same word the Greeks used to speak of fearing God. How’s that strike you ladies? That so can’t. What are you saying here?”
• Husband’s Role: Sacrificial Love: Building upon the previous sermon, it reiterates the husband’s primary role is to love his wife as Christ loved the church – a love that is unselfish, undivided, and unstoppable, even to the point of sacrifice. This lays the foundation for understanding submission as a response to this kind of love.
• “What he says to the men is, you are to submit to your wife by loving her like Christ loved the church. It is not easier for him. It’s harder for him. He’s to die for her. Do you get it?”
• Wife’s Role: Encouraging Godly Leadership: The sermon argues that wives have a significant influence in shaping their husbands. They can either encourage them to become godly leaders or, through their actions and attitudes, reduce them to passive “doormats.”
• “As a wife, listen, ladies, you have, you have kind of a superpower. You have the power to induce your husbands to become godly leaders or to reduce them to submissive doormats.”
• Identifying Unsubmissive Hearts: The speaker provides a series of probing questions to help wives examine their own hearts and attitudes, identifying potential struggles with a lack of submission. These questions focus on issues such as forcing opinions, controlling decisions, dismissing the husband’s input on parenting, manipulation, and belittling.
• “Do you force your opinion on your husband? Does he get a word in it? …When deadlocked about a decision, does your husband have the last say, or do you?”
• “Do you belittle your husband with words and attack him with a barrage of emotions?”
• Emotional and Logical Differences: Touches on the differences in how male and female brains process emotion and logic.
• Husband’s Passivity: Posits that a husband may become passive or withdrawn because that is what the wife’s actions are communicating that she wants.
• “The secret to knowing if you are struggling with an unsubmissive heart is this it’s. If your husband is shutting down, if he is relationally cold in your relationship, he is. Listen to this. He is likely giving you what he thinks you want. Submission.”
• The Importance of a Relationship with Christ: The sermon emphasizes that this model of mutual submission and sacrificial love is impossible to achieve without a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It frames submission as an act of trust in God’s control and guidance.
• “If you’re not in a relationship with Christ, don’t try this. Don’t try this. Be selfish. Focus on yourself and manipulate and control all you can do. Do you know why? Because you would be trying to do something that you cannot do apart from God.”
• Caveats and Context: The sermon makes a few important caveats:
• The advice does not apply if the husband isn’t a “good man of God,” and encourages a wife to not submit in ways that put herself, her family, or her faith in jeopardy.
• Responsibility for marriage doesn’t fall completely on the woman, and the previous sermon focused on male responsibilities.

Key Ideas and Facts:

• Ephesians 5:21-33 is the foundation for the sermon. This passage, which discusses mutual submission and the roles of husbands and wives, is central to the speaker’s argument.
• The Greek word for “respect” in Ephesians 5:33 is the same word used for fearing God. This point is emphasized to highlight the depth of respect that wives are called to have for their husbands, while also addressing the potential for misinterpretation.
• Mutual Submission is Key Both husbands and wives are called to submit to each other.
• The speaker believes that the husband must take initiative and responsibility for a healthy marriage to be possible.
• Wives have the power to shape husbands Wives can bring husbands toward greater leadership, or reduce them to doormats.

Overall Impression:

The sermon attempts to provide a nuanced and balanced perspective on a potentially controversial topic. It challenges traditional interpretations of biblical passages on submission, arguing for a model of mutual respect and sacrificial love within marriage, with a focus on the wife’s influence, but also making it clear that the husband needs to take on a leadership role. The speaker uses relatable examples, humor, and personal anecdotes to connect with the audience and make the message more accessible.